a prayer

Dear God.

I had been so restless the last 2 days. I just was uneasy and on the edge every single second of the last 48 hours. And you my dear God know the reason very well. Well of course you do. It was all your doing after all. You made love and you made self respecting people who love. But why did you make ego a part of the whole deal. Why couldn’t you teach, or for that matter pre-program us humans to keep this evil emotion at bay. Or at the least keep it away when it comes to dealing with our loved ones. And this ego you gave us was the cause of my suffering.

I just didn’t call her for last 2 days, well why should only I be calling her up all the time? Why cant she call me now? Why why why why?????? So many times I asked why and that too only for one question. Am I that insecure dear lord? Did you really make me so weak? Well I just realized you did. Or why in your name would I act like an idiot. Idiotic is it to think the way I had been thinking for last 2 days. Of course I should call her ‘cause I am the one who is worried about her, I am the one who is still at home while she is away in a foreign land without many friends, I am the one who loves her. Yes I realize I do and don’t know what it means to her. If it means anything at all. But nonetheless, I will still be the one calling her not expecting her to call me back, not expecting her to love me back. I wont expect… but I still can hope, hope and pray that my love means something to her, that she loves me back.

Oh my dear dear lord, I pray to thee…